Read a NYC Therapist's best tips on improving your work performance at the office and working from home to work efficiently and effectively.
Alison: In any New York workplace, you will find some of the most motivated, bright, and determined urbanites. They also usually have a similar goal-- to bring their best selves to work. From your young entry-level executive to your most successful CEO, we could all use a little check-in now and then to see how we're doing and how things might improve. Is being successful at work truly about getting stressed out daily, eating lunch at your desk, and meeting all your deadlines? Or is there an attitude and relationship to work that can be, dare I say it, pleasurable?
“We think, mistakenly, that success is the result of the amount of time we put in at work, instead of the quality of time we put in.”
- Arianna Huffington. Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder
Listen. I'm pretty sure you're already good at what you do--and if you're in the beginning phases of your career, then, of course, it's always a great idea to find your mentors, build extra skills by attending workshops and training, and work aligned with your personal values, passion, and goals as much as possible. However, if you're already mid-career or beyond, you might need a little fine-tuning at this point. Many are masters and experts in their craft, but one area we might glance over but is equally important on the job is EQ: emotional intelligence. Isn't it the most challenging aspect at work to deal with partners, employees, bosses, colleagues, investors, and the myriad of relationships formed in the workplace?
If you begin to do some personal work in therapy, coaching, or otherwise, you might begin to notice your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors -- and of course, they always include the relational parts of our lives! Here's an example I've heard: "I am at the top of my game performance-wise, but then I start to have doubts about what I'm saying in business meetings. I can feel the two other senior executives in the room are looking at me like I'm not making as much sense about what I'm talking about even though I'm certain that what I'm saying is true and beneficial." If we break this down into parts, we see that some of this thinking pattern is about assumption--assuming that others are thinking and feeling something about you--and these assumptions lead us to self-doubt and confusion. When we're swept up in fully believing our thoughts and feelings, this can impact our self-image, performance, and even the quality of our relationships. So this relates to the truth of the information--that what we are saying is beneficial at the moment, especially given our skills, expertise, and prior preparation for these meetings. Did you know that the assumption part is based on old information-- and that which is true for today is the only real and valid information? This is the only information you should use to judge your success, relationships, expertise, and decisions on-- current, true information. After all, what will people remember about you at the end of your life? Not necessarily what you said in business meetings, but what you are contributing overall, how you are with others, and how you make them feel.
I don't think most people want to say that they are stressed out all the time and not enjoying themselves Yet, many people with high-stress careers say exactly that and feel miserable on the job. A large contributing factor in that equation is an over, or under-active nervous system. How many times a day are you presented with a challenge and go into over-drive to solve it, only to find yourself anxious, irritable, reactive, jumpy, and unable to find equilibrium again? This is because the nervous system thinks it has to go in overdrive at that moment (*think perceiving a threat like a lion in the jungle) and respond with a ton of energy. This eventually can burn us out, make us sleepless, and cause us to lack enjoyment in other areas of our lives if we remain in overdrive (fight/flight or anxiety/reactivity)-- and eventually we will collapse into freeze and find ourselves down and unmotivated.
So we must find ways to increase our personal stability of mind and resilience of the nervous system. We work best when we are in a calm, alert state, where we are at ease but ready to take action and relate to stressors and challenges with the actual (usually non-threatening) information given. The two best ways to work with your mind and nervous system are with meditation and neurofeedback -- better yet, having both a regular sitting practice of at least 10 minutes a day and doing neurofeedback 2-3 times a week can be the penultimate combination in optimizing the functioning of your brain and mind.
Both neurofeedback and meditation re-train the nervous system to come into the present in a calm, alert state--stressors and challenges can be dealt with more easefully, gracefully, and accurately. In this podcast, Dave Asprey, an expert on peak performance and founder of Bulletproof, has rated NeurOptimal neurofeedback training as the "best bio-hack yet.". In his interview with the co-founder of NeurOptimal, Dr. Valdeane Brown, we learn about his own personal story of how this advanced technology helped him and what makes Dynamical Neurofeedback different.
Beyond self-understanding and a regulated nervous system, we must all care for our bodies. If you aren't sleeping well, eating well, and exercising, eventually, that body that has to take care of these taxing tasks daily will start to feel like it's crashing. I'm not a medical professional, but I think any functional medicine doctor would tell you that how you take care of your body will impact your performance and mental health--it's a given.
Here is a well-written article by Dr. Mark Hyman on why Glutathione, for example, is important for overall health and preventing illness. Who wants to do all of this work live a stress-filled life, only to become sick and depleted and turn around saying, "I wish I had taken better care of myself?" It's generally not worth it. I often hear, "Well, I can't take time for any of these things--like self-care, therapy, neurofeedback -- how do people fit it all in?" Since it's just that important to keep your body and mind in tip-top shape, the most successful, thriving, dedicated, healthy, and happy New Yorkers DO make time for all these things, even if it means coming on a lunch break or taking an hour early off of work. After all, it would be best to do quality work in a shorter period of time (think making an 80-hour work week now a more reasonable 40-hour one) because we cannot survive running on the hamster wheel for that long--and anyway, that's surviving not thriving in our lives.
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